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<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER">“<b>TWO
ARE BETTER THAN ONE” MINISTRIES</b></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER"><b>Jim
& Marie Watt</b></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER"><b>Tel:
<a href="tel:253-517-9195" target="_blank">253-517-9195</a> - Email:
<a href="mailto:jmbetter@gmail.com" target="_blank">jmbetter@gmail.com</a></b></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER"><b>Web:
<a href="http://www.2rbetter.org/" target="_blank">www.2rbetter.org</a></b></p><p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER">April 17, 2012</p><p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER">
<br></p><p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER"></p><p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in">
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</p><p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER"><b>2012-04-17
- WIRED FOR INTIMACY -</b></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER"><b>How
pornography hijacks the male brain. By William M. Struthers.</b></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER"><br>
</p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><b>We
are hard-wired for human intimacy and relationships. </b><span style>But
in our pornified culture, pornography disrupts how men interact with
women. Countless Christian men struggle with the addictive power of
porn. And all too often our responses, such as prayer and
accountability groups, are of limited help.</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><span style> Neuroscientist
and researcher William Struthers explains how pornography affects the
male brain and what we can do about it. Because we are embodied
beings, viewing these images changes how the brain works, how we form
memories and make attachments. By better understanding the biological
realities of our sexual development, we can cultivate healthier
sexual perspectives and interpersonal relationships. Struthers
exposes false assumptions and casts a vision for a redeemed
masculinity, showing how our sexual longings can actually propel us
toward sanctification and holiness in our bodies.</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><span style> </span><b>With
insights for men who struggle and those who care for them, this book
offers hope for freedom and transformation.</b></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><br>
</p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">“<b>This
book opens the door for Christians to talk about men, sex and
addiction in a candid and intelligent manner.” - Douglas Weiss,
</b><span style>Ph.D., author of Sex, Men and
God, president of the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><br>
</p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">“<b>Wired
for Intimacy is a groundbreaking book on the brain chemistry of
sexual addiction. Every man needs to understand how his sexual
choices affect this crucial part of his humanity. It will be a great
help toward sanctification for those who embrace its message.” -
Russell Willingham, </b><span style>author of
Breaking Free: Understanding Sexual Addiction and the Healing Power
of Jesus</span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><br>
</p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">“<b>Finally
there's a book that scientifically quantifies what those of us who
work in the field of sexual addiction have long understood:
pornography powerfully impacts the brain. <i>Wired for Intimacy</i><span style="font-style:normal">
surpasses the typical recovery book in its scientific foundation and
careful scholarship. This is a much-needed and welcome addition to
the Christian literature addressing the pandemic of pornography.” -
Marnie C. Ferree, </span></b><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>director
of Bethesda Workshops, author of No Stones: Women Redeemed from
Sexual Addiction</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><br>
</p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><b><span style="font-style:normal">William
M. Struthers </span></b><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>(Ph.
D., University of Illinois at Chicago) is associate professor of
psychology at Wheaton College in Wheaton, Illinois, where he teaches
courses on behavioral neuroscience, men and addictions, and the
biological bases of behavior. His theoretical research in the area of
neuroethics, the biological bases of spirituality and personhood, and
the nature of integration in psychology.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><br>
</p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER"><font size="3"><b><span style="font-style:normal">Introduction</span></b></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="CENTER"><br>
</p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><b><span style="font-style:normal">What
is it about pornography</span></b><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>
that makes it so appealing to so many men? Why does a naked female
body or a movie of a woman having sex seem to hijack a man's brain,
hypnotizing him and rendering him incapable of making good decisions?
Why might a man who is married to a lovely wife risk that
relationship for a ten-second video clip of a couple having sex? What
is it about being male that makes it so difficult for men to look
away?</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">
<font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>While
pornography ravages and destroys the lives of both men and women,
this book and the research within focuses almost exclusively on
pornography's impact on men. It is true that women are increasingly
becoming consumers of pornography, but there is little doubt that it
is primarily men who are hooked on it. And the reasons that women
view pornography are very different that the reasons men do. Men seem
to be wired in such a way that pornography hijacks the proper
functioning of their brains and has a long-lasting effect on their
thoughts and lives.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">
<font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>As
a biopsychologist and person of faith, I am in a unique position to
engage many of the questions posed above. It is hard to be a
Christian in the United States and not be sensitive to the pervasive
influence of pornography and the warped views of sexuality that
saturate our culture. Pornography and the hypersexuality found in the
media are almost impossible to avoid.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">
<font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>As
I have looked carefully at some of my Christian beliefs about
sexuality and felt convicted to respond to the pornification of our
culture, I have had an unexpected opportunity to integrate my faith
with my academic discipline. As I have studied how the brain
develops, how hormones and culture affect it and how addictions and
compulsions develop, it has become increasingly apparent to me why
many men struggle so much. In this book I share this material, and I
hope it can be a part of the healing process that so many long for.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">
<font style="font-size:8pt" size="1"><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>Like
many adolescent boys growing up in the 1980s, I had occasional
opportunities to view lingerie catalogs in the mail and softcore
pornography magazines stashed away by friends and relatives. These
were my first exposures to the naked female form, eliciting what I
now know to be sexual interest. As I grew older, frontal nudity and
erotic sexual scenes in movies became readily viewable on cable
television channels such as HBO and Playboy. Home videotapes made
access to all types of pornography easier than ever before.</span></span></font></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style> While
I can't recall feeling a compelling attraction toward pornography, I
won't deny that I found it hypnotizing when I stumbled upon it.
But I was struck by the hold that it had over several of my teenage
friends and their desire to expose me to it. Perhaps I was just late
in my sexual awakening, but as I entered my twenties, my exposure to
porn shifted into high gear. Legally an adult and living with other
men who were enjoying the freedoms of college life, I was exposed to
additional forms of pornography. I became increasingly aware of how
many men subscribed to </span></span></font><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><i><span style>Playboy</span></i></font><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>
and regularly rented adult videos. I began to notice how many of my
friends and acquaintances - men who by all other accounts would have
made fine boy-friend and husbands - sacrificed relationships with
real women for the allure of an image of a woman on the magazine page
or video-tape of a couple having sex. I admit that I was not a saint
and did not avert my eyes from every temptation, I believe that it is
only by the grace of God that I was mostly spared from the seductive
draw of the pornographic page and screen.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style> I
can think of many ways I have benefited from computer technologies
and the vast knowledge available on the Internet. But I also delete
dozens of e-mails each day that solicit pornographic material, sexual
enhancement products or opportunities for sexual encounters. My
workplace has an Internet filter, but sexually explicit material is
easy to access if you are determined. I put on self-imposed blinders
as I wade through tantalizing advertisements with Victoria's Secret
models in the margins of my weather forecast. My Internet service
provider's homepage is littered with dating services (“Hot Single
Girls in Your Neighborhood Looking for Love!”) and my sports
websites have galleries of scantily clad cheerleaders. If I watch a
soccer match on television with my children, I have to be vigilant to
change the channel when commercials for Viagra are aired. In a world
that has been hypersexualized, it is hard to get through the day
without being battered and numbed by the intrusions of pornography.</span></span></font><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style> </span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style> Many
people have asked me if I have ever looked at pornography. I'm not
sure if the question is geared to label me a hypocrite or to appeal
to an “everybody does it” mentality. When I tell them that I find
many things on television or on newsstands pornographic, they frown.
Apparently this makes me a prude, which is worse than being a
hypocrite. Yes, I have viewed pornography because </span></span></font><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><i><span style>it
is everywhere</span></i></font><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>.
You cannot get away from it; if you don't view it intentionally, you
will unintentionally. The result is that repeated exposure to
pornography and the objectification of the female body changes the
way our brains see each other. Repeated exposure to any stimulus
results in neurological circuit making. That is how we learn. But
what does pornography teach and how does it change those who
regularly consume it?</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">
<font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>My
journey in asking this question began several years ago when, as a
faculty member at a Christian college, two significant things
happened. First, I knew three men in different stages of life from
varied backgrounds who had problems with pornography and engaged in
sexually inappropriate behaviors. These men had allowed pornography
to warp their idea of sexuality, impacting them and their families
negatively. Watching these men deal with the consequences of their
problems was exceptionally painful. In one situation, I felt that I
had unknowingly contributed to the breakdown of one man's marriage by
encouraging him to discover the wonders of the Internet for quick and
easy stock trading. Instead he discovered it as a gateway to free
pornography and depravity.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"> <font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>A
second factor was an upper-division psychology class I taught called
Men and Addictions. In part of this course, I spent a significant
amount of time exploring findings about men's struggles with
pornography and compulsive sexual behaviors. We evaluated whether or
not a person could become addicted to porn and if it should be
classified as a clinical problem. This component to the course turned
out to be an invitation for hordes of college-aged men to visit me
during my office hours. There they confided that they felt trapped by
their inability to stop consuming pornography. The weight of the
guilt they carried was heartbreaking.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"> <font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>I
began the process of seeking out therapeutic options for these men
and came across statistics about the adult entertainment industry. I
was flabbergasted at the economics and demographics of it all. I met
regularly with these young men and referred them to counselors when
appropriate. It became apparent that many of them were dealing with
significant emotional and spiritual wounds that had resulted from
their experience with pornography. This book is a result of the great
need for healing that I saw in these men as a result of pornography
consumption.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">
<font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>My
personal agenda will be clearly evident to anyone who reads this
book. It stems from my Christian faith and my desire that each person
fully understand how we all are unique and appreciate how much we
share in common as human beings created in the image of God. My faith
requires that every human life be viewed as sacred and the dignity of
every individual be respected and honored. When we better understand
the devastating spiritual, psychological, social and biological
reality of how pornography violates our unique position in God's
creation, we will be better able to minister to those who have been
wounded by it.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">
<font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>Because
of this perspective, I view pornography as a institutional evil that
prays on the disaffected, wounded and desperate members of society. I
believe that even those who wholeheartedly embrace pornography's lie
of sexual fulfillment and freedom (whether producers, actors or
consumers) are still loved by God. Our calling as Christians is to
examine ourselves and walk alongside those who have been damaged by
this evil. We are not to demonize others, but to share God's healing,
grace and mercy as they discover their identity in Christ. Healing
and right thinking about our sexual nature are found in the person of
Jesus Christ, Scripture, the power of the Holy Spirit and the
ministry of the church.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">
<font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>Many
excellent books have been written by Christian authors who explain in
plain terms how men can deal with pornography. They use language
common in Christian culture and easy for many men to grab hold of:
lust of the flesh, sexual sin, diseased soul, sexual idolatry. Much
good comes from using this language when wrestling with the reality
of pornography. Many of these authors rightly frame pornography as
more than just an ethical or legal matter - it is a </span></span></font><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><i><span style>spiritual</span></i></font><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>
matter.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">
<font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>Pornography
is also a </span></span></font><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><i><span style>physical</span></i></font><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>
matter, rooted in the biological intricacies of our sexual design. In
my opinion, nowhere is the complexity of our sexual nature seen more
than in the wiring of the brain. Our reproductive organs are often
given too much attention in the discussion of sexuality. It is the
brain, however, where we feel the sexual longing, the arousal, the
focus and the ecstasy that comes from sexual intimacy. Using
spiritual and psychological language to describe the tenacious grip
of sexually destructive patterns is helpful. But calls to pray
harder, move the computer to the living room and get plugged into an
accountability group only go so far. They come across as hollow to
many men whose brains have been altered and rewired by their
experiences with pornography. They have trained their brains to
respond sexually to the pornography they consume.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT">
<font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>We
need to move to the next stage of dealing with pornography, cybersex
addictions and sexual compulsions. We can find healthy ways to train
the male brain to understand and act on its sexual nature. By
appreciating our created nature and acknowledging pornography's
unhealthy impact on our brain (and the rest of our body), we have a
better path forward.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"> <font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>I
hope that as recent scholarship in the brain sciences reframes and
informs our ideas about how we are made, we can develop a better
understanding of how fearfully and wonderfully made we are.
Pornography taps into many men's wrong thinking about themselves, in
places where their brains are most vulnerable to exploitation. But as
we appreciate the reality of our sexuality and place it within the
biblical narrative, we will see hope for redemption. As we more
clearly see our need for redemption and the path of sanctification,
we will be better equipped to heal from the wounds of pornography and
allow our sexuality to be a necessary part of the process by which we
are conformed to the image of Christ.</span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><br>
</p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><u><b><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal">NOTE</span></font></b></u><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style="text-decoration:none"><b>:
</b></span></span></font><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style="text-decoration:none"><span style>There
is no quotation above from the book proper. From the back cover and
the Introduction, it is our hope than many will order this book. Part
1: How Pornography Works - and Part 2: Healthy Masculinity and
Sexuality - allows the author to give hope to many who feel hopeless
in this addiction. Mothers and wives can help sons and husbands
through this book. </span></span></span></font>
</p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><span style="text-decoration:none">
<font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style>I
immediately ordered a copy when I heard Dr. Struthers on an
unexpected program I turned on. It is published by InterVarsity
Press, and can be contacted by </span></span></font></span><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"></font><b><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style="text-decoration:none"><<a href="http://www.ivpress.com/">www.ivpress.com</a>>
</span></span></font></b><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style="text-decoration:none"><span style>
- <Amazon.com> also handles it. </span></span></span></font>
</p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style> </span></span></font></p>
<p style="margin-top:0.01in;margin-bottom:0in" align="LEFT"><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style> </span></span></font><font style="font-size:11pt" size="2"><span style="font-style:normal"><span style> </span></span></font></p>
<p></p>
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</p>
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